Condolence Note, Years Late

I’ve always said it’s never too late to send a condolence note. Although your situation gives new meaning to the word “belated” and goes beyond what I had in mind, the advice still applies. As for what to write, I recently came across a note that was shared with me by someone in a position similar to yours. Perhaps it will inspire you to find your own meaningful words. The note read:

Dear ----:
It was so nice to see you Thursday night. It reminded me once again that I hadn’t sent a condolence note when I heard your son had died. I sat down to write at least a dozen times, but no words came out that I felt could comfort you. Maybe it’s because I have children of my own and couldn’t imagine the pain you were experiencing—or didn’t want to.
Whatever the reason, I’m sorry. I thought of you and what you were going through many times.

The writer signed off with “Regretfully.”

These words come across as honest and deeply felt. The note’s brevity adds to its power, and it’s hard to believe your colleague wouldn’t appreciate your own sincere version, despite all the time gone by.

Which also raises another issue: Maybe the writer of the note above would have sent it sooner if she hadn’t tried to comfort the parent. The fact is it’s rarely possible to provide comfort—unless you had a very close relationship with the person (or with the deceased). Attempts to allay sadness tend to be misguided and may backfire. Often the bereaved actually resents such efforts. What you can do is acknowledge the loss and express sympathy. That is the purpose of a condolence note in most cases.

Additionally, we tend to assume the bereaved expected us to write and/or noticed that we did not. The reality is we’re just not that important. It’s highly unlikely the devastated parent paid attention to who did not send a card or note after the death.

    

In lieu of flowers...

As we head into the gift giving season full steam ahead, I’ve been paying particular attention to the “gifts” that are suggested in obituaries – the donations made to honor a person’s memory their favorite charity or their life’s work.

For years I have sent checks to whatever followed the phrase “in lieu of flowers,” but it seems now that, like everything else connected with dying these days (memorial services, do-it-yourself obituaries, funeral attire, parting gifts, etc.), there is a lot more creativity in what is suggested in place of plants.

The more common suggestions often target the disease that caused the death: heart, cancer, diabetes, ALS and more. There are donations to animal groups, churches, schools, foundations and libraries. Money is even suggested to fight suicide, drugs or depression:

Donations will be contributed to an anti-drug education program in his memory…

Here are some others that offer creative but still meaningful alternatives, the first one especially important during the holiday period when blood banks run low:

In lieu of flowers, please give the gift of life by donating blood and platelets to your local blood bank…

In lieu of flowers, which she always hated, she would love if people donated to her favorite charity, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

…gifts to the Veterans of Foreign Wars and The Blue Ocean Institute would serve her intentions appropriately…

Donations will be used to plant trees and park benches, honoring his love for life.

Please consider an adoption from your local “life” animal shelter…

This one leaves the creativity entirely up to the reader or friend:

His children ask that you make a donation to the charity of your choice.

In a time of grief, words often fail us. We want to express our heartfelt sympathy, but finding the gift that can share our sentiments and provide comfort is not always easy.

When you plant a tree in memory, you are leaving a living legacy behind.

This UNIQUE and ELEGANT certificate will bring care and compassion for today and hope and healing for tomorrow to the family of your loved one.

A Tree Instead Corp. will ensure that your gift is delivered with care and sensitivity.

www.atreeinstead.com One tree... One lifetime of memories

And, finally, the ultimate reminder that life is fleeting and that no expression of love should go untold lest it be too late:

In lieu of flowers, please hug a loved one and take a moment to express the value they bring to your life.

Expressing condolences via technology

An acquaintance had an aggressive form of cancer. I was kept in the loop via text messages and Facebook and so it seemed natural to learn of her death through a text. A friend of the bereaved sent a mass text, not one but a series, with funeral notifications, meal requests, and donation preferences. Friends of the bereaved began writing condolence messages on her Facebook wall.

My first thought upon hearing of the death was to send a condolence note; but I changed my mind when I saw the bereaved added a “like” to every Facebook condolence message on her wall.

One of the text messages had indicated that the deceased had requested donations be made to the American Cancer Society. I chose to write an email and honor the deceased’s wish for the donation.

I crafted a condolence message in Word. I edited until I was comfortable with the final text. I copied and pasted the condolence message from Word and sent it. I knew that I had handled the contact correctly when the bereaved quickly responded, telling me how much my message had meant.

This was rather unconventional for me. I find text communications concerning death to be awkward; it’s hard to be quick on your feet while trying to be tactful and compassionate. I do not post condolence messages on a Facebook wall nor do I like to send condolence messages via email. But in this case, the email was the correct thing to do. The bereaved is part of the generation that relies on text and Facebook messages and she found these communications very comforting.

In a time of grief, words often fail us. We want to express our heartfelt sympathy, but finding the gift that can share our sentiments and provide comfort is not always easy.

When you plant a tree in memory or celebration, you are leaving a living legacy behind.

If you decide to go traditional way and send a sympathy gift, this UNIQUE and ELEGANT certificate will bring care and compassion for today and hope and healing for tomorrow to the family of your loved one; A Tree Instead Corp. will ensure that your gift is delivered with care and sensitivity. But you can plant a tree and send a eCard which is more convenient www.plantatreeinstead.com

How to Write a Condolence Note to a Customer or Client

It’s hard to write any condolence note because the subject is death. But it’s especially difficult when the bereaved is a client or customer. The challenge is to strike just the right tone and choose words carefully. The wrong ones can make a poor impression and even damage the business/professional relationship.

I would start your note, “Dear Janet,” rather than just “Janet.” Omitting the “dear” would be acceptable in an ordinary note, but it’s much too casual for a condolence message. This is a sad and very sensitive situation. I would begin the first sentence with, “I am very sorry to hear...” for the same reason. “So very sorry,” which omits the “I,” seems almost flippant.

The next sentence gives advice, which is a common mistake in condolence notes. Advice is the last thing any bereaved wants to hear – especially from someone who isn’t personally close. The words can seem presumptuous, and make the recipient feel very angry. You don’t know your client well yet, and probably have no knowledge of her relationship with her mother. The same is true of the line, “It will help carry you through the dark.” The person’s reaction very well might be, “How would you know?!”

Realize that writing a condolence note is not about being profound. It’s about acknowledging a death and expressing genuine sympathy. Period. Here is one possibility:

Dear Janet,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. You are in my thoughts and prayers at this time of sadness. I send my deepest condolences.

Follow with your signature. Here is another option:

Dear Janet,
I just heard about your mother’s death. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

And simply sign your name. Such brief notes are both powerful and appropriate, and they keep you from getting into trouble.

In a time of grief, words often fail us. We want to express our heartfelt sympathy, but finding the gift that can share our sentiments and provide comfort is not always easy.

When you plant a tree in memory, you are leaving a living legacy behind.

This UNIQUE and ELEGANT certificate will bring care and compassion for today and hope and healing for tomorrow to the family of your loved one.

A Tree Instead Corp. will ensure that your gift is delivered with care and sensitivity.

www.atreeinstead.com

Twenty Reasons to Plant a Tree

1. Trees Combat the Greenhouse Effect

Global warming is the result of an excess of greenhouse gases, created by burning fossil fuels and destroying tropical rainforests. Heat from the sun, reflected back from the earth, is trapped in this thickening layer of gases and global temperatures rise as a result. Carbon dioxide (CO2) is a major greenhouse gas. Trees absorb carbon dioxide, removing and storing the carbon while releasing the oxygen back into the air. In one year, an acre of trees absorbs the amount of CO2 produced when you drive your car 26,000 miles.

2. Trees Clean the Air

Trees absorb odors and pollutant gases (nitrogen oxides, ammonia, sulfur dioxide and ozone) and filter particulates out of the air by trapping them on their leaves and bark.

3. Trees Provide Oxygen

In one year an acre of trees can provide enough oxygen for eighteen people.

4. Trees Cool the Streets and the City

Trees cool the city by up to 10�F by shading our homes and streets and breaking up urban “heat islands” – and by releasing water vapor into the air through their leaves.

5. Trees Conserve Energy

Three trees placed strategically around a single-family home can cut summer air conditioning needs by up to 50%. By reducing the energy demand for cooling our houses, we reduce carbon dioxide and other pollution emissions from power plants.

6. Trees Save Water

Shade from trees slows water evaporation from thirsty lawns. Most trees need only fifteen gallons of water a week, the equivalent of two toilet flushes. What’s more, as trees transpire, they increase atmospheric moisture.

7. Trees Help Prevent Water Pollution

Trees reduce runoff by breaking rainfall thus allowing the water to flow down the trunk and into the earth below the tree. This prevents stormwater from carrying pollutants to the ocean.

8. Trees Help Prevent Soil Erosion

On hillsides or stream slopes, trees slow runoff and hold soil in place.

9. Trees Shield Children from Ultra-Violet Rays

According to a National Skin Cancer Prevention Education Program report released in 1996 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, skin cancer is the most common and most rapidly increasing form of cancer in the country. Trees provide protection from cancer-causing ultra-violet rays, especially on campuses and in playgrounds where children spend hours outdoors.

10. Trees Provide Food

An apple tree can yield up to 15-20 bushels of fruit per year and can be planted on the tiniest urban lot. Aside from fruit for us, trees provide food for birds and wildlife.

11. Trees Are Teachers and Playmates

Whether houses for children or creative and spiritual inspiration for adults, trees have provided the space for human retreat throughout the ages.

12. Trees Mark the Seasons

Is it winter, spring or summer or fall? Look at the trees.

13. Trees Create Economic Opportunities

Fruit harvested from community orchards can be sold, thus providing income. Small business opportunities in green waste management arise when cities value mulching and its water-saving qualities.

14. Trees Bring Diverse Groups of People Together

Tree plantings provide an opportunity for community involvement and empowerment that improves the quality of life in our neighborhoods. All cultures, ages, and genders have an important role to play at a planting.

15. Trees Add Unity

Trees as landmarks can give a neighborhood a new identity and encourage civic pride.

16. Trees Provide A Canopy and Habitat for Wildlife

Sycamore, and oak are among the many urban species that provide excellent urban homes for birds, bees, possums and squirrels.

17. Trees Block Things

Trees can mask concrete walls or parking lots, and power lines and poles. They muffle sound from nearby streets and freeways, and create an eye-soothing canopy of green. Trees absorb dust and wind and reduce glare.

18. Trees Provide Wood

In populated areas, trees can be selectively harvested for fuel and craft wood.

19. Trees Increase Property Values

The beauty of a well-planted property and its surrounding street and neighborhood can raise property values by as much as 15%.

20. Trees Increase Business Traffic

Think about the most pleasant places to shop in your community. Chances are, trees provide shade for pedestrians and cars.

www.atreeinstead.com

Trees have many economic, environmental and social benefits

Trees have many economic, environmental and social benefits. They improve our lives and the places we live. Here are some reasons to plant and care for trees:

Economic Benefits

• Planting shade trees on the south and west faces of your house can reduce winter heating bills by up to 15% and summer cooling bills by up to 50%.
• Studies have shown that well-treed businesses project a warm, welcoming and inviting atmosphere for shoppers who tend to linger and spend more time shopping, resulting in some cases in a business increase of up to 11%.
• Fruit trees provide delicious and free supplemental nutrition for the entire neighborhood.
• A well-landscaped, tree-lined yard can raise the property value of a home by 5 to 15%, increasing neighborhood desirability and speeding up sales.

Environmental Benefits

• Through photosynthesis, trees absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. The average tree can clean up to 330 pounds of carbon dioxide annually while emitting enough oxygen for a whole family.
• Trees reduce the need for heating and cooling, thus decreasing the need for more power plants in the future.
• During a storm, the canopy and root systems of trees act as a both a sponge and a filter, cleaning the water as it seeps into the water table and reducing storm water runoff.
• Forested areas are far less prone to flooding and soil erosion.
• Trees provide a habitat and refuge for urban wildlife, as well as wildlife that may have otherwise been displaced by development.
• All of the above benefits are important factors in reversing the effects of major environmental crises such as global warming, species loss, and drought.

Social Benefits

• Trees are shown to have a calming effect on people; people suffering from high stress tend to feel calmer in the presence of trees, thus improving overall health and well-being.
• Studies show that neighborhoods with significant greenery report fewer instances of crime and less insecurity, resulting from a greater sense of community.
• In today’s world we are growing increasingly insulated and isolated from our neighbors. A community tree planting is a great way for people to interact with one another, work side by side toward a common goal. Planting trees is also a great way to instill in members of the community a sense of civic pride and a stronger connection to place.
• Closely-spaced trees along roads tend to slow traffic by giving the impression of narrow roads and speed as they zoom past your windows. They also serve as a buffer zone between streets and sidewalks, creating safer environments for joggers, pedestrians and children at play.
• Trees have been shown to increase levels of concentration in children, and girls who are exposed to nature or live in greener communities tend to exhibit higher levels of self-discipline and decreases in impulsive, risky behavior.

www.atreeinstead.com

Sympathy Quotes

Sympathy Quotes

◦May the blessings of love be upon you, May its peace abide with you, May its essence illuminate your heart, Now and forever more....   Sufi Blessing
◦Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.&   From a Headstone in Ireland
◦Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.&   Author Unknown
◦If the future seems overwhelming, remember that it comes one moment at a time.   Beth Mende Conny
◦They say love beyond the world cannot be separated by it.  Death cannot kill what never dies.   William Penn
◦To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.   Thomas Campbell
◦Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.   Robert Louis Stevenson
◦As you comprehend this profound loss, let yourself cry knowing each tear is a note of love rising to the heavens...    Author Unknown
◦Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower, We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.   William Wordsworth
◦You don't get over it, you just get through it.  Your don't get by it, because you can't get around it.  It doesn't 'get better'; it just gets different.  Everyday... Grief puts on a new face....   Wendy Feireisen
◦Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know that are happy.   Author Unknown
 ◦When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.   Author Unknown
◦I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death.  They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make.  Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories.  We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love.   Leo Buscaglia
 ◦For some moments in life there are no words.   David Seltzer, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
 ◦When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.   Sufi

◦Each new life, no matter how brief, forever changes the world.   Unknown

◦How very quietly you tiptoed into our world, silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left upon our hearts.   Unknown
 ◦As you danced in the light with joy, love lifted you. As you brushed against this world so gently, you lifted us.   TC Ring

www.atreeinstead.com

Happy Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day! Over one billion people in 192 countries are participating! 

 How are YOU Going Green?

 

 

 

Words of Sympathy

When sending a sympathy card or note of condolence it is often difficult to know what to say or how to phrase your thoughts and feelings. We have compiled a list of appropriate and warm sympathy sayings to give you a guideline of what to write in a sympathy card.  Feel free to combine phrases and write what feels natural and comfortable to you.  The most important thing to remember while writing this is that your sympathy message comes from the heart.  Your friend or loved one is going to appreciate that you are acknowledging their grief and honoring their loss.

 We encourage your sympathy message to include a sentence or two sharing a memory of the deceased. Most people relate that receiving cards with personal memories helps them in their healing journey. They want to recall the wonderful and special memories of their loved one and when you share some special aspects of your relationship with the deceased, it brings warmth to their grieving heart. If you did not have a personal relationship with the deceased, don't worry and don't stretch to make up a memory.  Just know that your message of sympathy will be appreciated. ◦You are in my thoughts.
 ◦Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
 ◦We are thinking of you.
◦We are thinking of you during this difficult time.
 ◦With deepest sympathy,
 ◦My sincere sympathy,
 ◦Our warmest condolences,
 ◦With heartfelt condolences,
 ◦Please accept my condolences,
 ◦We are deeply sorry to hear about the death of “name of deceased”. 
◦Remember that we love and care about you.
 ◦As you grieve know that we are remembering you and honoring the memory of “name of the deceased”.
 ◦With caring thoughts,
 ◦With loving memories of “name of deceased”,
 ◦Sent with love and remembrance,
 ◦Our hearts go out to you in your time of sorrow.
 ◦“Name of Deceased” will remain in our hearts forever.
 ◦We pray the love of God enfolds you during your journey through grief.
  We send you thoughts of comfort.
 ◦Please accept our most heartfelt sympathies for your loss…our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
◦With love and hugs,
 ◦We will miss “name of deceased”. 
◦We share comfort in knowing “name of deceased” is no longer suffering.  We send thoughts of sympathy and support to you as you begin your journey without “name of deceased”.
 ◦Remembering you and “name of deceased” in our minds and in our hearts.
 ◦With thoughts of peace and courage for you,
◦We send you thoughts of peace and courage.
 ◦Words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel about  “name of deceased” death.  We are here to support you in your grieving process.  With sincere sympathy,
 ◦“Name of deceased” brought so many gifts to our life. We will never forget him/her!
 ◦May your heart and soul find peace and comfort.
 ◦Peace, Prayers and Blessings,
 ◦Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your hearts.
 ◦May you be comforted by the outpouring of love surrounding you.

Why go green?

Why go green?

Green is all over these days. You can barely escape it on the Internet, and now with the Planet Green TV network, you can even enjoy eco-friendly entertainment 24 hours a day. While it's easy to get inundated with the theme until it gets a bit annoying, it's also simple to begin making a positive impact without looking at the big picture, when it comes to going green; setting to small goals it is really where we can do our part. A Tree Instead, a company devoted to preserve the planet one tree at a time by planting trees all over US at National Forest & State Parks, private reforestation projects, overseas in Africa and Holly Land (Israel).
Every single thing we do has an impact on the planet, could it be good or also bad. The good news is that as an individual you have the power to control most of your choices; therefore, the impact you have in where you live, where you buy, even where you vacation, has a global impact. go overboard with the green theme, just like A Tree Instead do one a tree a time, you can go green one steep at a time. Going green is not only to preserve our planet but also to improve our health and ultimately our overall quality of life. Why wouldn't anyone want to green?

 

Plant a Tree for Free

10 Ways to Go Green and Save Green

1.Save energy to save money.

Set your thermostat a few degrees lower in the winter and a few degrees higher in the summer to save on heating and cooling costs.
Install compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) when your older incandescent bulbs burn out.
Unplug appliances when you're not using them. Or, use a "smart" power strip that senses when appliances are off and cuts "phantom" or "vampire" energy use.
Wash clothes in cold water whenever possible. As much as 85 percent of the energy used to machine-wash clothes goes to heating the water.
Use a drying rack or clothesline to save the energy otherwise used during machine drying.

2.Save water to save money.

Take shorter showers to reduce water use. This will lower your water and heating bills too.
Install a low-flow showerhead. They don't cost much, and the water and energy savings can quickly pay back your investment.
Make sure you have a faucet aerator on each faucet. These inexpensive appliances conserve heat and water, while keeping water pressure high.
Plant drought-tolerant native plants in your garden. Many plants need minimal watering. Find out which occur naturally in your area.

3.Less gas = more money (and better health!).

Walk or bike to work. This saves on gas and parking costs while improving your cardiovascular health and reducing your risk of obesity.
Consider telecommuting if you live far from your work. Or move closer. Even if this means paying more rent, it could save you money in the long term.
Lobby your local government to increase spending on sidewalks and bike lanes. With little cost, these improvements can pay huge dividends in bettering your health and reducing traffic.

4.Eat smart.

If you eat meat, add one meatless meal a week. Meat costs a lot at the store-and it's even more expensive when you consider the related environmental and health costs.
Buy locally raised, humane, and organic meat, eggs, and dairy whenever you can. Purchasing from local farmers keeps money in the local economy.
Watch videos about why local food and sustainable seafood are so great.
Whatever your diet, eat low on the food chain [pdf]. This is especially true for seafood.

5.Skip the bottled water.

Use a water filter to purify tap water instead of buying bottled water. Not only is bottled water expensive, but it generates large amounts of container waste.
Bring a reusable water bottle, preferably aluminum rather than plastic, with you when traveling or at work.
Check out this short article for the latest on bottled water trends.

6.Think before you buy.

Go online to find new or gently used secondhand products. Whether you've just moved or are looking to redecorate, consider a service like craigslist or FreeSharing to track down furniture, appliances, and other items cheaply or for free.
Check out garage sales, thrift stores, and consignment shops for clothing and other everyday items.
When making purchases, make sure you know what's "Good Stuff" and what isn't.
Watch a video about what happens when you buy things. Your purchases have a real impact, for better or worse.

7.Borrow instead of buying.

Borrow from libraries instead of buying personal books and movies. This saves money, not to mention the ink and paper that goes into printing new books.
Share power tools and other appliances. Get to know your neighbors while cutting down on the number of things cluttering your closet or garage.

8.Buy smart.

Buy in bulk. Purchasing food from bulk bins can save money and packaging.
Wear clothes that don't need to be dry-cleaned. This saves money and cuts down on toxic chemical use.
Invest in high-quality, long-lasting products. You might pay more now, but you'll be happy when you don't have to replace items as frequently (and this means less waste!).

9. Keep electronics out of the trash.

Keep your cell phones, computers, and other electronics as long as possible.
Donate or recycle them responsibly when the time comes. E-waste contains mercury and other toxics and is a growing environmental problem.
Recycle your cell phone.
Ask your local government to set up an electronics recycling and hazardous waste collection event.

10.Make your own cleaning supplies.

Join the Million Car Carbon Campaign by purchasing your Earth-Aid kit today.
The big secret: you can make very effective, non-toxic cleaning products whenever you need them. All you need are a few simple ingredients like baking soda, vinegar, lemon, and soap.
Making your own cleaning products saves money, time, and packaging-not to mention your indoor air quality

Going Green – Yes, You Can Do It!

With global warming becoming worse every year, many people wish to start doing their part to help save the environment. Unfortunately, many people believe that going green is expensive and time consuming. Read on to find out several immediate things you can do to get on on the road to living green.

The first thing that people can do is to recycle. Although this seems very uncomplicated, there are many people who still discard glass bottles and aluminum cans into their common garbage. Nearly all American trash services now offer a special bin for recycling this kind of item. Even with these available recycling bins, people are still apt to put their glass and aluminum in with their regular trash. It merely takes a few minutes to wash out the cans and bottles prior to throwing them into the recycle bin.

One other huge waste product is newspapers. The everyday individual throws his newspaper in the trash when they’ve finished reading it. Nonetheless there are several other things you can do with an old newsprint once you finish reading it. For example, newspapers make terrific material for cleaning windowpanes. If you’re tired of finding little white fragments and streaks on your windows after you clean them with paper towels and cleaner, try replacing your paper towels with old newspapers instead. Also, many towns and villages and even boy scout and girl scout troops hold paper drives. Merely put your papers in a stack and phone the group to get them.

If you want to take one quick step toward green living, do more walking. A lot of people will go out, turn on their car for a few minutes, and drive a few blocks to the corner store to grab a loaf of bread.

If you just walk to the store, not only could it take less time, as you won’t have to try and find a parking spot, but you will be saving money on gasoline and helping to save planet Earth by not burning those fuels.

If you are looking to save even more on gasoline, take the opportunity to car pool when you can and only mow your lawn twice a month instead of each weak. Even though you may opt to keep your lawn nicely trimmed, letting it go for an additional week between mows shouldn’t change the look that much. If you’re a loyal fan of green living, try to find a mechanical push mower. You will be able to find one in your local hardware shop.

Green living need not involve big lifestyle alterations to help save planet Earth. Also, you can find lots of info online on other ways to get started living green, you just have to go looking for it.

Talk about death is alive and well

Is awareness of all things death-related a perception thing? That once you’ve lost someone, you become more aware of the buzz around you about death and grieving? Or is it that, as part of the aging process, we are all more accepting of our mortality and others’ too? Or could it be that as we age and lose loved ones, we are all just plain paying more attention to the topic – and talking about it more?

A recent spate of death-related stories in the media – all this month – leads me to wonder where this is all coming from…and where it’s going.

* A couple of weeks ago, an acquaintance in Boston lay blogging at the same time she lay dying. Once diagnosed with cancer, she posted her journal on Caring Bridge and as her demise drew near, nothing was as poignant or personal as the parting words, in print, about how sorry she was to be leaving life and the love of her life.

* An uncle by marriage died in Connecticut. He was elderly and somewhat too far removed for me to have known he was so close to death, but I was heartened by the stellar obituary I found on Legacy.com that told the gutsy story of his pioneering of the recycling movement, long before the first Earth Day.

* CBS Sunday Morning last week featured a story about how children mourn reported by Katie Couric, whose own daughters lost their dad when they were just six and two.

* A “Modern Love” column in The New York Times on Sunday was written by a woman whose husband heartbreakingly died “a happy man” and who called his service “the best funeral ever” – words that would not have been said openly and in print not so long ago.

* Not long ago, All Things Considered on National Public Radio aired a delightful story about an Atlanta man who has been collecting obituaries for over 50 years.

* A newly published book of condolence letters sent to Jackie Kennedy when the President was assassinated underscores the elegance and empathy of a simple note – whether written by statesmen or school children.

* And hip-hop superstar Jay-Z raps about death in his current hit, “Forever Young”:

Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in the sandpit
Life is a short trip
The music's for the sad man…
So when the director yells cut
I'll be fine
I'm forever young
I'll be fine
Blame it on the boomers, if you must, this determination to be young forever and go out in a blaze of glory when possible. Because death, dying and grief haven’t always been an acceptable focus of conversation, much less media hype. When my mother died too young in 1968, people could barely speak the words ‘breast cancer’ much less face the truth that the end was near.

In this blog, I hope to make preparing for death – and how you want to be remembered – a more accessible and acceptable topic, too. It doesn’t have to be gloomy and morbid; nor is it egotistical and controlling. It’s a fact of life that we’ll all be gone one day, and we might as well have a hand in how that final journey is handled.

What's My Carbon Footprint

Inevitably, in going about our daily lives — commuting, sheltering our families, eating — each of us contributes to the greenhouse gas emissions that are causing climate change. Yet, there are many things each of us, as individuals, can do to reduce our carbon emissions. The choices we make in our homes, our travel, the food we eat, and what we buy and throw away all influence our carbon footprint and can help ensure a stable climate for future generations.
You can start reducing your Carbon Footprint by planting trees www.atreeinstead.com